Do coping strategies for infertility really work? The answer is yes!!! Research has shown that couples facing infertility can help themselves get through the tough times.

Be optimistic, yet don’t let go of reality. – Having a positive attitude can get you very far in your treatment process. It is also important to keep in mind the mere reality of what you are going through. Having high hopes is great, but many times it will only pave the path for a huge let down. Keep a great attitude while at the same time staying realistic about your expectations. Infertility is the time to prepare for a short ride of infertility treatments or the long road with many bumps along the way.

Take care of your #1, YOU! – Don’t forget about your friends and the things you enjoy. Many struggling with infertility may feel like their entire life revolves around treatments, appointments, etc. Keeping yourself busy with enjoyable activities will help to remind you that there are still good things in life. This may be the time to pick up a new hobby or try something daring and new. It may even be good for you and your partner or spouse to try something fun and exciting – dancing lessons, date nights, or a good funny movie may be just what you need to keep a smile on your face.

Great, a baby shower, but it’s not yours! – You may be thinking to yourself, “Why can’t it just be my turn?” If you find that baby showers or children’s birthdays are causing too many tears, it is okay to politely decline. On the other hand, it will be your turn someday, and you will want your friend’s and loved ones to celebrate with you. You know yourself best and whatever choice you make is okay!

Have the money talk. – Infertility treatments can be extremely costly, the average IVF cycle is greater than $12,000. You and your spouse should sit down in the beginning and figure out a financial plan. If your insurance doesn’t cover infertility, you will need to decide as a couple how much you can afford. Money is a huge stress in most relationships; don’t let it add to your stress during your treatment cycle. It is important to research all of your options including financing and shared-risk programs.

Payment Option for IVF:

• IntegraMed Shared-Risk: IntegraMed Shared-Risk Program Information

Find a support group. – A support system can work wonders during this stressful time in your life. Find a professional counselor or therapist that specializes in reproduction. It may also be helpful to find support through fertility blogs, forums, or articles on the Internet. Reaching out to other women and couples who are experiencing infertility may be just the support that you need.

Give yourself limits. – Infertility is a battle that cannot be solved in a day. It is important to have patience and prepare for a long road ahead…but how much is too much? Decide as a couple on how much you are willing to endure. Many couples will do anything it takes to bring home a baby, regardless of cost and emotional expense. Others are more comfortable choosing less invasive and lower cost treatments. The choice is yours!

Become an expert! – Educate, educate, educate! Read, research and ask as many questions as you can about your diagnosis. The more you know, the more prepared you will be as you face the fertility treatment process. It is essential that you are making informed decisions about your medical plan and treatment. Find books, seminars, and support groups that can supply you with the knowledge you need to be a well informed patient.

Support each other. – Struggling with infertility may be the biggest and hardest challenge that your relationship or marriage faces. Let each of you become each others number one support. Remember that you are BOTH going through a difficult time and you are both facing many different emotions. Help each other to alleviate stress and to keep the bond strong between the both of you – pay attention to each other!

Don’t blame yourself! – Although you may be tempted to get angry at yourself, remind yourself that your fertility problem is not your fault. Negative feelings will not help you during this critical period. You may wish that you could have made different decisions in the past, but remember the past is behind you. Only worry about today and the decisions you have control of at this very moment. Focus on the positive and on your future.

Yes, your fertility problem is indeed a problem! – For those that have never suffered from infertility, they will never understand the crisis that you are going through. Regardless of what others tell you, your infertility is a problem and it is okay that it is causing you hurt, frustration, and disappointment. Face and acknowledge your feelings so you can move forward with your treatment process.